by itabix | Oct 14, 2012 | Coming out
Conventional wisdom would have us believe that the period before we came out, was a terrible place. The closet. Billeh, in the Daily Kos, quotes Paul Monette, who calls it a “hidden life,” and “half a life.” This is the way gay writers and politicians think about what...
by itabix | Oct 11, 2012 | Coming out, Uncategorized
As long as our culture is homophobic, many gay people are going to feel they have to come out. It’s an act of courage, self-defense and self-respect. But I don’t think we think often about what we do when we come out and about what it means. Few people think...
by itabix | Jul 21, 2012 | Coming out
Some writers have taken “coming out” as the beginning of the plot and then made a novel of it. It might start, “In 1993, when I was fourteen, I came out to my best friend….” Others have taken “coming out” to be the climax of the plot, whose final sentence might end,...
by itabix | Jul 14, 2012 | Coming out
I was on Boston common today, talking to a friend. We’d just gotten to know each other and we were asking the kinds of questions people ask, exploring each other’s lives. He asked me, “Since you’re gay, how did you manage to stay married so long? How did you do...
by itabix | Jun 3, 2012 | Coming out
Brandon K. Thorp posts on Towleroad, about President Obama proclaming Gay Pride Month: “At some point, I’m sure the novelty of seeing presidents speak this way about LGBT folk will wear off. For this writer, it hasn’t yet.” To get the same sense of...
by itabix | Apr 25, 2012 | Coming out
On Towleroad, Krista Tillman, who lives in Charlotte, North Carolina and is a mother of a young gay man (she’s also a dean of her college) explains why her gay son doesn’t live in North Carolina. “It’s not as open and accepting as other places are.” She tells what she...
by itabix | Apr 16, 2012 | Coming out
When a person is on the edge between in and out, he is not often faced with a binary decision, either in or out. He is faced with a range of possibilities, only one of which is, in the particular situation, coming out. He may decide to do nothing. He may decide to...
by itabix | Apr 5, 2012 | Coming out
Tyler Clementi was in the process of coming out when he died. We can’t know how he felt. Tyler is the only person who could know how he felt and the only person who could know how far he had gone on the process toward coming out. It is appropriate here to...
by itabix | Mar 29, 2012 | Coming out
In Ceremonies, Mickey gives two television interviews. In the first his face is lit so he can’t be recognized, and when he sees the broadcast of the interview, Mickey sees what he has done: The reporter, on screen, is a warm and vibrant person with attractive...
by itabix | Mar 27, 2012 | Coming out
In Ceremonies, after Mickey came out to his sister, and then to his mother the next day, he found he had to come out to his friend at work. He took his friend Charles to a fast food restaurant on the highway. After some preliminary talk about cars and tires and...
by itabix | Mar 26, 2012 | Coming out
In Ceremonies, a young woman is walking down the street, preparing to attend a memorial service for a friend. She turns the corner and sees TV lights focused on the door of the church. If she continues to the door, she will walk past these TV cameras. She says to her...
by itabix | Mar 18, 2012 | Coming out
Ian Parker, writing in The New Yorker, says about Tyler Clementi, “there was no posting, no observed sex, and no closet.” Writing at the same time, Angus Johnston, of the website Student Activism, says, “‘Out’ is not a binary concept, and it’s not at all...
by itabix | Oct 7, 2011 | Coming out
I got an email two days ago from a man whose name I haven’t heard in fifty years. The email said, “Are you the Dwight Cathcart that was stationed in Yakima, Washington. 1960-1961?” This man and several others and I were in the Army together and formed a little group...
by itabix | Sep 16, 2011 | Coming out
“Mommy!” “What? What’s the matter?” “I don’t know how you can say that.” “What?” “That you love me, but you don’t care what I am.” “Well, I do. I love you, and I don’t care whether you like boys or girls.” “But it’s different, liking boys and liking girls. And...
by itabix | Apr 24, 2011 | Coming out
I don’t remember being bullied for being gay when I was a kid, but I do remember being given a hard time because I was a sissy. This happened when I was less than ten. I was pretty and wasn’t any good with a ball on the playground, and other boys didn’t want me on...
