C and I were in a bar Friday night. I talked to a friend about the difficulties of using an iPad or Nook or Kindle outside its own ecosystem—on an iPad, you need to read books from the Apple bookstore, and Amazon books from the Amazon bookstore on a Kindle, and so on. I think the question now is how long people will put up with this. It’s supposed to be about freedom, isn’t it, this digital revolution? These things are getting more and more technologically advanced, and less and less politically progressive. We’re buying books for our ereaders and feeding the corporate giants on Wall Street while doing so. That’s not what we wanted, is it? The corporate giants on Wall Street are certainly not feeding us—gay readers across America—the books we want.
Later that same night, C and I went to dinner with two friends and talked about the qualities a man brings to a relationship and which ones have a positive effect on the relationship and which ones not. One quality that we agreed on was his experience with relationships with men. A man can more confidently fall in love with a man who tells him he has fallen in love with him, if that other man has been around the track a few times and knows what he is declaring when he says, “I love you.” I have only had two loves in my life—one with a woman and one with C—and six years of screwing around between those times. C had more than ten years of experience in the gay community before I met him. I think we both knew what a long-term relationship was about.
C and I discussed marriage over the weekend. We’ve been discussing marriage since 2004, when it became possible to marry in Massachusetts. The Supreme Court says it will rule during 2013 on the constitutionality of DOMA and Prop 8. Most commentators seem to think that the Supreme Court will approve marriage equality to some extent, but nobody knows, and it may be that the only feeling a person can have at this moment is anxiety.
2013, which begins tonight, is almost certain to be a year when gay people experience huge changes in their place in our culture. In a time of uncertainty, it’s OK to look back at what has worked in the past—keeping up the pressure and fighting back. What this means in practical terms is to give money to the people who can fight for us, the legal organizations of your choice and the social service organizations. Subscribing to tough gay political journals too. What is not acceptable for gay people in a time of large changes and uncertainty is lassitude. So, it’s a time for resolutions, and here are three. Remember Larry Kramer and ACT UP. ACT UP! Fight back! Fight AIDS! Get out your credit card, open your computer. Join HRC, contribute to GLAD and ACLU, and give money to your local AIDS service organization and anybody else you know of who has contributed to our successes in this past year and to the betterment of your life. You’re welcome.